Adrenaline Rush (noun). a sudden burst of energy from an increase in the hormone and neurotransmitter adrenaline esp. increased heart rate and blood pressure, perspiration, blood sugar and metabolism.
Adrenaline rush, a words used far too many times to show what my characters felt but never really felt it myself. I wrote stories to disguise my thoughts into what my characters felt and present it as a fiction. But my stories were usually based on what I wanted to express or experience. My characters let me ride a unicorn without a leash. I always felt close to my fictional characters because they somehow represented me or were someone dear to me. For me, it was not just a mere fiction but a factual fiction I’d created for myself; an abode where I didn’t have to think of anything of the worldly entities. I sometimes re-winded my fictional thoughts just because it let me feel something that I’d never felt or well, give me the capacity to imagine how I’d feel in that certain situation.
I’ve imagined of having adrenaline rushes a lot since my childhood, or well, since I came to learn this word from the novel New Moon of Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer back when godly looking vampires had just entered the life of teenagers like me. Since then, this word excited me experience something thrilling. And as a normal teen, I dreamt of adventures capturing it in my stories.
This word never vanished from my memories but lay in the back rack of my brains because those dreams were no more dreams now. I was growing up and stepping into living my dreams into reality. The thirteen year old aspiring writer and seventeen year old aspiring media personality had begun her journey stepping into her late teens. This sounds beautiful and it really is. I’m happy to have really supportive family and friends to be there for me while following my dreams. But this reality is giving me adrenaline rushes. I’d never really experienced it in ‘real’ what it felt like to have your heart beat so fast, blood rushing inside you and this thrill of embarking a journey and experience you’ve dream for years. This feeling is exciting, thrilling but scary too. I’m scared but I’m excited. I’m happy but I’m nervous. I’m confused but I know this is it!! I’m perspiring of anxiousness.
I’m a lot stronger than I used to be but the stronger I get, I’m afraid of the unknown fear. I don’t know whether this fear is shadow of my overthinking custom or something to actually worry about. But I feel the adrenaline rush, so strong and pushing me to flow in its current.