I don’t know what I want; I don’t know what I don’t want. In a sea of confusion I swim, every tide choking me and leaving me breathless. Sometimes I want to stop swimming and drown amidst the questions surrounding me. Sometimes, I want to swim out of it, but the harder I try, the more tired I get; my limbs numb from the strength and energy wasted.
It’s one of those days where I am an enigma to myself and the only thing I fear is me. It’s one of those days where the darkness rises and I feel fangs piercing my jaws like rising from dead, my skin tears apart and I see rough dry black scales covering every inch of my skin. My eyes turn blood red. I cry and scream from the immense pain but all I shed is blood from my eyes and my wails are scary and deathly howls in the pitch black night from which the mothers hold their child a bit tighter and people pull their loved ones a bit closer.
It’s a full moon night and the devil has arisen. I cannot help myself and I seek the one I love the most to save me, pull me away but I see them running away afraid of me. The pain of seeing them slipping farther is immense than having every inch of my skin tear apart and blood oozing out.
I don’t know who I am. I’m scared of myself because it’s one of those days where the devil has arisen.