“Hey, how are you?”

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“Hey, how are you?”
“Hmm, I’m good,” I answer and smile.

Because I cannot explain the ache in my head with flashbacks of failure, words that I fear to hear, taking every breath like I’m a sinner for living, the feeling of being burden and worthless increasing as every sun sets, and the heaviness growing in the darkness of the night where the beating of my heart loses its meaning because the want to die is more than the want to live, the black hole I mentioned in all my past poems has entered my life again, this time more fierce and is biting away my flesh slowly, bit by bit till the dark red blood oozing out of me turns black, like the darkness itself and I cry, I scream in pain but I’m lost in the echo of my own reverberating voice, into the darkness, helpless and never to be found.

So the next time I say, “I’m good”, I’m not, I never was and will never be.

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