My final year in university will start in less than a week. I am filled with anticipation. In this summer break, I got a lot of time to think. Undergrad is a confusing chapter. I feel like I’m in a crossroad all the time. The path that seems right may not be the correct one. Right and correct are two are completely different terms. I don’t know which one to choose.
I concluded that I will start this year positively hoping everything will fall into place. I found out that I had many bad leaves rotting within the tree that I am supposed to grow into. Here are the three things I learnt while contemplating:
- No Gain by Complain
I complain a lot. Ever since I was a child, I’ve been complaining. I curse my fate, I complain about my weight and how the society is not considerate, I complain about my laziness, the weather and anything really. I have forgotten to realize there are things I can take control of and things I cannot control. I need to act on the things I can change and not bother about the things I cannot control instead of complaining. I’ve always been a Negative Nancy and now, it’s time to change.
- Be Yourself
I am not confident about who I am. I have been very conscious about people liking me, but I failed to realize people like me for being me. I must start being comfortable in my own skin and being myself. I am quirky and clumsy, I wear cloths I regret as soon as I leave the house, I fall more than I walk, and I lack vocabulary when I am nervous but that’s okay. That’s me and no one is perfect. I wondered why my choices in color, food, cloths, style and everything was different. I believed I sucked at good choices. Well, good is a relative term and the different choices makes me different, it makes me ‘me’.
- Some things are better left behind
I have been stuck in the past for far too long. I know it is a part of me but not my whole story. I have focused so many stories on gloomy past that I failed to tell stories of beautiful moments I’ve had. The moment of my first happy tear when someone made a comic book out of my article, my first international travel, then the second and the third. The moment I saw my parents being so proud of me that it made me shed tears. I have so many happy stories to tell. I realized that I need to let go of the nasty past that was holding me down. I have a story to tell about the most inspiring people I’ve met in this journey and about anticipation of meeting more.
So, this year, I am going to push this Negative Nancy behind and try my best to be a positive person. I have more bad habits apart from these three. I will find it out to eliminate it from my life slowly. Step by step. Until then, I will work on these three.
The Black Caterpillar 